How did Marvel ever publish this?

I was thinking about my ultimate life's goal of owning every appearance of Spider-Man in print ever (not even close, by the way), when I remembered that includes stuff like this:

I actually do own this issue, but I swear it's only for the Spider-Man appearance (which consists entirely of Spidey showing up and saying, "Wow, but this guy is a credible and not remotely fucking ludicrous crime fighter) and maybe a little for the cheese factor.  This specific title is possibly the worst thing Marvel ever published, even for the nineties.  While it couldn't begin to tarnish the rich legacy of Stan, Jack, Steve, and the whole bullpen gang, it's still memorable as the nadir of superhero ideas.

The idea that a Spidey guest shot could sell copies carries some weight (you see infinitely more copies of this first issue than the few subsequent issues of NFL Superpro).  I'm not going to make any more comment on the actual title, it's well documented in the annals of Comic Book dreck, so I'll just leave an example of an enjoyable shameless Spider-Man promotional appearance.

If I were to wear a ring.

Garish as it may be, I've been thinking about gracing my digits with some rings.  Time to narrow my choices.

1) Green Lantern Power Ring - At it's essence, the Power Ring can construct whatever the wearer wills it to.  Which means it can really do anything.  Even make other rings.  The drawback is that you need to charge it every 24 hours ("Earthman time") and it has a whack weakness to the color yellow (based on some impurity or some shit, really it's a giant yellow bug that lives in the Central Battery)

Don't know why I started here, as it's the best choice by far.

2) Flash Ring - It's a pretty little ring that contains a Flash costume.  You push a button, the uniform pops out and expands, and you use your super speed to slide into it (super speed not included with ring).  So, pretty useless, but cool.

3) Legion of Super-Heroes Ring - It let you fly.  Already covered by the Power Ring.  Kind of useless.  (That aside, it would still be nice to have)

4) Kryptonite Ring - Just what it says on the tin.  It's only useful if you hate Superman, or Superman has gone fucking nuts.  Also, Superman would have to exist.

It also gives you cancer, apparently.


So, Power Ring it is.  (Probably shouldn't have led off with it...)

As a side note, I wanted this to be a note on Facebook.  But Facebook is a  pile of cunts, and after crashing once (and deleting what I'd just finished writing) making me log in when I tried to post it (this time I saved a draft) and finally not letting me access the page to post the note, I gave up.  Fuck those cockfucks.  Fuck 'em.